By Faridah Folasade Igbayilola
The eternal axiom says “marriage is a beautiful thing.” This – among other factors – make many of us anticipate to get married.
Did you however know that while some people are struggling to get themselves ready for this journey some people are trying to make sure that they are physically, psychologically, emotionally, spiritually and other “llies” ready?
Some people, like a weaver bird hum and disturb people with the usual gibberish “when will you marry?” This set of people keep on pestering like leeches. What they don’t realize is the more they mount pressure, the more the higher mental health is being affected.
It is good to remind people about developments and next steps in life (it is left for your discretion if you consider marriage as one), just please be kind with your approach and your advices.
Not everyone is mentally stable. Brain drain is the order of the day in this generation. Many are depressed and need help to brave up and face their next chapter in life. The journey to forever is a long road and it takes a lot of effort and sacrifices. The institution called marriage is not as ‘interesting’ as it used to be while we were growing up. Many children languish in pains of seeing their parents separated or living together like strangers.
There are a lots of single people out there who have been abused at young ages and/or witnessed the ugly side of marriage. There are some who have seen its beauty and glory. There are some who never witnessed what parental love seems to look like. Our society is filled with children who are products of different backgrounds and beliefs. What do you think a child who grew up in a toxic environment need to do before settling down? What do you think about a child who the society thinks to have it all is facing in the name of settling down? How do you expect a child who has been used and taken for granted to react to marriage?
As much as this institution of life called marriage is inevitable, our society has gone rogue and inconsiderate when pressuring people for marriage. Being marriage is seen as achievement and depicts being responsible.
Yes, it is “pressure” because too many people demand it. They keep asking when and where, they should be asked what they will contribute towards that marriage. “How are you going to help out when things go south? How supportive will you be when we need someone to talk to?” The advice that is as constant as the Northern star is, “Talk to your Creator; he got you always.”
People need love and understanding, not pressure for them to settle down. Many have put in more effort than you can ever imagine just for them to settle down. Their mental health should come first, seconded by ‘financial health’.
If you want to ask questions, don’t be surprised that a lot of people are suffering from depression in a bid to have their spouses.
If you can’t pressure them to remember their agemates who are dead, bedridden with sickness or mentally derailed; don’t pressure people for marriage.
May Almighty God grant the single a peaceful home and give them their life partners and strengthen those in marriage, make those who are on the brink of collapse find peace and the will to continue as they started.
Finally, may God continue to be controller of our affairs ( Aamiin).